Hello my love. Well, here it is again. New Years Day and the start of my third year without you. I went to bed early last night. I didn’t want to see the New Year in alone. When you were here, there was always so much to look forward to darling, but since you have been gone, all the dawning of a new year means to me is another year of loneliness and tears. I just see another year of emptiness ahead darling without you at my side. I know I should be grateful for the years we had darling, but I so badly wanted more. I'm sure you did too darling but it wasn't to be. I remember the New Years' Eves when you and I would go up on the Downs at midnigght and let off rockets to celebrate, and stand there drinking mulled wine as we watched the fireworks all over the horizon. We would stand arm in arm and hand in hand, looking forward to what the New Year would bring. Then you got ill darling and all those hopes and dreams were overshadowed by things out of our control. Whatever happened to our 'happy ever after' darling ? If I had known on the day we met that we would only have 9 years together darling,I would still have stayed. Better to have had those few short years with you darling than never to have had them at all. It is just that I miss you so much now Wend. My heart is still broken and will only be mended on that wonderful day that we are reunited once again. Until then, I shall continue to love you with all my heart darling and to keep my promise to you to care for the children. I love you so much my beautiful blue eyed princess, your loving husband, Ian XXXXX