Merry Christmas my darling Wend on this, our 4th Christmas Day apart. The tears have already been flowing this morning my love. I cannot bear waking to an empty house, especially on Christmas day morning. I so envy all the couples who awaken together today with the joy of this special day ahead of them. I know I will be with Matt and Sarah and the boys today darling, but at the end of the day, I still have to come home alone to an empty, silent house once again. I love and miss you so much my darling. The pain inside still hurts so much Wend. It is like a terrible ache deep inside of me. I long for the day that God gives me peace and takes me home at last to be with you again so that I can hold you in my arms once more. Until that day comes darling, I shall never stop loving or missing you. Please send me your strength to help me through the days ahead and to help me keep the tears away from the children. I love you so much my darling Wend. your loving husband, Ian XXXXXX